STATUS REPORT:

ON Death AND DYING

Psychology 110

I. BACKGROUND

Death has multiple meanings. According to Mr. Webster, death is a state in which someone is deprived of life, end of life, extinction or destruction. The biological meaning of death is when the main organs of a human being that are needed to support life are not functioning anymore. The meanings of death are all similar to each other and points to one result, a loss. One fact remains that every single thing has its end. Everyone or everything will encounter death. Two variables are considered in this tragic concept. The first is time or when one is going to die while the second is the cause or how one is' going to die. These two variables cannot be determined at the very beginning of life. It isn't exactly the case that when one is born, one will automatically know when and how his life would end. It can be said that death just happens. But it does not favor anyone. Just because someone is rich and powerful doesn't mean that his death will be much later than someone who is poor. Since death is not optional, people have just learned to accept this fact. But fear of death is different from death itself

Death is a very tragic and sad event. Psychologists or psychiatrists are generally uncomfortable of talking about it for it is hard to collect data from real life situations. Another fact is that everyone has a fear of death. No one can overcome death. No one can realistically prepare for it either because no one knows when their actual time would come. So what can one do to prepare for his end time? Or what can one do when actually faced with this situation?

Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross studied this concept and was able to form five stages that one experiences in the process of death. These stages do not only apply to dying patient, but also to the family or the people involved in the situation. The five steps are as follows:

1.) First Stage: Denial and Isolation

This is used by almost all patients. Denial functions as a buffer after unexpected, shocking news. At a much later time, isolation will be used more than denial.

2.) Second Stage : Anger

This stage is very difficult to cope with relative to the family and people involved. This is because anger is displaced in different directions and it is projected onto the environment.

3.) Third Stage: Bargaining

This is basically just an attempt by the patient to postpone.

4.) Fourth Stage : Depression

When one has experienced so much already, that person will start feeling tired in doing his' normal activities.

5.) Fifth Stage Acceptance

Acceptance is the final step. But this is not a happy stage. The feelings are just neutral and numb. This is the stage when the struggle is over and this is but the end of a long journey.

Death takes many forms In the circumstance of losing someone, the feeling is quite similar to one's own death. People are faced with so many losses in life, materially, physically or emotionally. In these situations, the emotional aspect of a loss is quite complicated for emotions are irreplaceable. Relationships is a good example where emotional loss is experienced. This study is relative to the concept of death but deals more with the emotional aspect of a person who has been involved in long term love relationship and has experienced a loss in that particular relationship. Death is not taken -in the literary sense but is used as a metaphor for loss. This study will also focus and analyze the connection or relation between Kubler-Ross' stages and each relationship given.

II. HYPOTHESIS

I think the stages formed by Kubler-Ross will apply on someone who has experienced a loss in a love relationship. I also think that the stages will help the audience understand better and actually feel what it is like to lose someone.

III. PROCEDURES

The following questions are the ones that were and are going to be used in the interviews,

1.) Have you been involved in a relationship with the opposite sex?

- If yes, was it based on love, infatuation, work, or sex etc? 2.) Does this relationship still exist?

If not, how long did the relationship last?

3.) Can you describe to me what the relationship was like? (For example, were you always getting along, were you both happy all the time, was fighting common) 4.) How involved were you and your partner in the relationship?

- Was there a point in the relationship when either the two of you started to lose interest in the relationship

- What triggered that loss of interest

5.) what initiated the break up (could be an event, person or thing)

- Did the both of you decide on the break up

- How was the break up done ( did both parties fairly bid farewell to each other)

- In your opinion, was the reason for the break up a reasonable one

- During the break up, what were you feeling (what was going on in your head,

did you want to do something violent or wild)

6.) After the break up, what became your reaction (were you still able to do your normal activities)

Did any of your life patterns change (for example, sleep, eating habits; losing energy, etc.)

- Did your outlook on life change (did your positive attitudes all of a sudden turn

to negative : for example always thinking positive then all of a sudden being

pessimistic)

- Did other people like your friends see a change in attitude or behavior in you.

- Did you feel like going out again 7.) Did you see your ex-partner often

- if not, were you the first one who tried to establish contact with him

- If yes, did you at least give him some kind of hint that you wanted to get back together (how did your ex-partner react to this)

- Did seeing your ex-partner often make it easy or hard for you to be without him.

8.) Did it take quite some time before you become yourself again (the way you were even before you went out with him)

- How long did it take in your experience

- Can you say that you have closure in such a way that you've just accepted what

happened

Was ' - Do you still hold any feeling towards your ex-partner (if yes, like what)

9.) the break up helpful in who you are today. Please explain

IV. DATA

A. Case 1 - Interview with K*

K* went out with N* for a total of 5 months. During these 5 months, the relationship was going well. The relationship however was quite secretive. Fights happened here and there but K* never saw it as a warning to their relationship for they would always talk about it and make up after the fight. Unfortunately, three weeks after celebrating their 5th month, N* broke up with K*. K* didn't know the reason. And they never talked nor saw each other again. At first K* loss interest in everything. Friends tried to cheer her up but she chose to be alone. She tried her best to do what she normally did, but nothing inspired her to do anything. Her mood swings were also uncontrollable. It wasn't before along she began to open up and talk about her emotions. After 4 or 5 months she began to participate more on community activities.

When K* chose to be alone rather than to be with friends, this was showing stage 1 which was denial and isolation. Her uncontrollable mood swings is like stage 2 which is anger. Her inability to function normally is like stage 4 or the depression stage. When she finally started to open up and join more in the community activities, this is relative to the acceptance stage.

V. QUESTIONS FOR TEACHER

1.) Was my background in line to what I intend to talk about in this report

2.) Was I clear or do I need to explain further what I want to express

3.) Are my questions for the interview right (insensitive, leading)

4.) I was only thinking of interviewing 5 people, do I need to interview more. (3 done)

5.) Can you give me some ideas on how I can present my data for the poster